swankyinspector:

Well hey, that’s a start, riiight?

Better off than me. I have the worst luck with women.

You? You, the suave, dashing king of police?! Doubt it. 

I’m surprised my girlfriend even loves me back. I’ve dated a lot of girls who took my money and my heart, then left me with nothin’…and I mean a lot. And I was always too naive and too in love to see it comin’ every single time…

Source: itsgottabethebutz